When I started my blog last year I had all of these ideas on what kind of content I wanted on my blog. I had big plans and I was excited to do something that I wanted to do. I’d been thinking about starting a blog for a few years and as I’m quite a shy and introverted person it took awhile for me to take that big ‘leap’ and I know it sounds silly but for me it was a big deal.
Fast forward a few months into the start of my blog and a few things changed for me. I was suddenly dealing with something I’d never dealt with before – anxiety and it was really bad. It stemmed from Eli, he had a condition called Infantile Acne – google it. He had a massive flare up and it just got worse and worse. My beautiful baby boy was suddenly in pain and miserable and his face looked like a teenagers face with aggressive acne. Too much testosterone created in my body when I was pregnant was how it was caused. I felt failure, I felt as if my body didn’t do it’s job properly, I felt responsible. It ate me up everyday. I would cry all the time. My mum and Josh would have to constantly try to keep me from having a massive break down. It was not a good time. I didn’t want to go out because I didn’t want anyone looking at his face. He is the most beautiful little boy and he is so perfect in my eyes but I know people can be insensitive and curious and I didn’t want to have to explain or be in a situation where I had to talk about it. It put a strain on all parts of my life completely. Everything else got pushed to the back burner including my blog. Eli then got put on quite an aggressive treatment but after four months it started to get better and as of today his skin is basically clear. He has good days and bad days though especially when he’s teething but he’s not in pain and the relief I feel is incredible. Nobody wants to see their child in pain, especially when you can only do limited things to help.
So here we are, July 2017. As far as my anxiety goes, I still have it. I haven’t had an attack in a good couple of months but I’m definitely a changed person. I also find myself getting incredibly overwhelmed over the smallest things very quickly. I think it was important to have some time to myself and try to get back on track and although I would still post on Instagram and did the odd blog posts, I didn’t want to put unwanted pressure on myself and go back two steps – ya know? I hope what I’ve written makes sense and that you understand a little bit of what I’m trying to explain.
I always wanted my blog to not be a ‘heavy’ kind of blog in a sense. I wanted it to be a place where you can come and find a new easy recipe or read about a product I’m loving or see all the things we get up to. A light hearted place where you can perhaps learn something new but I wanted to be transparent with you all. I know I don’t have the biggest following but the followers I do have I am so grateful for. Thank you for taking the time to read a blog post or just liking an Instagram photo. It all means so so so much to me.
I’m excited to get back to working hard on my blog! I’ve had a blog makeover and I’m so excited to see what great things are ahead!
Thanks for coming a long for the ride team!